Impact of Abuse

The seriousness of abuse cannot be judged by the type of abuse you are experiencing, but rather by the impact it is having on you.

Many women downplay or minimize the abuse. Many women feel ashamed to admit that abuse is happening. They describe the impact of abuse in various ways.

Mentally…. 

… Feel like you are going crazy

… Feel distracted, forgetful, confused, disillusioned

… Feel overwhelmed and cannot cope

… Can become mentally ill

… Feel trapped

He told me that I was mentally ill—that I had borderline personality disorder and that’s why I thought he was cheating. He was telling me I was acting strangely.

Emotionally…

… Feel nervous, anxious, insecure

… Feel depressed, suicidal

… Feel emotionally numb and have lost interest in life, caring for yourself or your home

… Feel on an emotional roller coaster

… Are in fear

… Have lost trust

… Feel embarrassed

Calling me names was a constant occurrence, happening daily. My name was cow, pig, whore, stupid, idiot…he never called me by my real name.

Physically…

… Lack energy/ is usually physically and emotionally exhausted

… Have panic attacks

… Cannot relax and are continually stressed

… Disturbed sleep patterns – too little, too much, nightmares, walk or talk in sleep, wake up unrested

… Appetite – either loss of appetite or increased, cravings

… Use drugs/ alcohol to cope/numb pain

Financially…

… Financial hardship, poverty

… Fight system, partner for needed money

… Potential losing job, etc.

I was given an allowance of $50.00 every 2 weeks. I had 3 children in school and groceries to buy with the money. That was the easy part, he would yell at me if he did not have his Pepsi cold in the fridge at ALL times

Socially…

… Isolated, lonely, uncomfortable in social situations

… Loss of contact with family and friends

… Escape into TV

… Hard to trust or form new friendships

… Very cynical/ unhealthy attitude toward men

Spiritually…

… Loss of faith

… Confusion and/or anger towards God and the church

… Feels abandoned by God

Self… 

… Loss of a sense of self and self-worth

… “big time loser”

… Loss of confidence, self-respect

… Empty

… Damaged

… Beaten down

He pushed himself on me quite a bit until I finally caved, sexually. I’d tell him I didn’t want to do it, he just kept on going, actually, he just started doing it even though I would say no.